


Fluffy, the three-headed dog

by StrawberryLane



Series: Seven minutes in heaven [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Central Park, Cerberus hound of the underworld, Crushes, First Kiss, M/M, Monster of the Week, New York City, POV Outsider, Pre-Relationship, Saving the World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 05:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15187700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberryLane/pseuds/StrawberryLane
Summary: Out of the corner of his eye, Flash spies the Winter Soldier charging towards the huge three-headed creature, his firearm slung across his back. He doesn’t look as calm as the previous times Flash has seen him in person. He looks crazed, like a man on a mission.“Puppy!” roars Barnes to the dog, “Puppy, come here!”“Come on,” says Peter, suddenly much more calm and collected than before, “we have to do something!”





	Fluffy, the three-headed dog

**Author's Note:**

> Title is, of course, a reference to "Harry Potter and the philosopher's stone".
> 
> There's also a reference to "And then there were none" by Agatha Christie, but that has nothing to do with the story.
> 
> So, here's the beginning of what we're all excited for! Pretend relationship turning real!

A bonding trip to Central Park with his classmates had been a really great idea, Flash thinks. Sitting around in the not-too-hot, not-too-cold weather, sipping soda and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and just generally having a nice time with people he actually, kind of likes is good. Great, even.

  


Except it’s turning out that holding a picnic in Central Park for a bunch of nerdy high school students is a really shitty idea and that has nothing to do with his classmates.

  


No, that has everything to do with the fact that every new supervillain of the week has zero imagination and somehow thinks New York City is the only place on earth.

  


Why don’t they ever attack, like, Oslo? Or Cannes? Or Johannesburg? Or- well, you get the point. Apparently, New York City is the only city worth attacking, ever. Are aliens handing out text books on how to conquer earth?

  


[Excerpt from Aliens handbook on how to attack earth 101]

  


1) Must attack a large city with a number of frightened earth species in it.

2) Said city must be located in the United States of America.

3) It should preferably be New York City (this one’s just for the laughs).

  


  


Flash is currently huddled beneath a bush that a homeless person seems to have been using as a bed until recently, Peter Parker pressed closed to him. Flash would generally prefer not to be quite so close to Penis Parker and the guy’s armpit, but he’s not that huge of an asshole that he’s going to push Peter out from beneath the shielding leafs.

  


After all, those pretty, green things are the only things currently protecting them from the dog that belongs to the God of the Underworld.

  


Yes, some insane person really though it would be a great idea to bring Cerberus the three-headed dog to life.

Or, uh, up to the surface, so to speak. And if that wasn’t disastrous enough, the Avengers had showed up, still high on something from their previous fight. Like, actually high.

  


Who the hell was in charge of them, again? And why were they allowed outside after being sprayed with some kind of red mist that made them do dumb stuff like starting to undress in the middle of the street and stand in front of speeding cars, thinking they were invincible? (Flash saw it on the news this morning, it was insane).

  


Like yeah, Captain America is invincible, but he’s not that invincible. He’s still a dude who can die.

  


Flash is telling Peter just that as they watch people run screaming to avoid being trampled to death by Hades’ dog, Suddenly Peter whimpers and buries his face in Flash’s shoulder.

  


Uh, what’s personal space?

  


“I can’t watch,” Peter moans and Flash, ignoring the way Peter seems to be vibrating out of his skin, scans the park before them.

  


Out of the corner of his eye, Flash spies the Winter Soldier charging towards the huge three-headed creature, his firearm slung across his back. He doesn’t look as calm as the previous times Flash has seen him in person. He looks crazed, like a man on a mission.

  


“Puppy!” roars Barnes to the dog, “Puppy, come here!”

  


“Come on,” says Peter, suddenly much more calm and collected than before, “we have to do something!”

  


“Uh, why?” asks Flash, because he’s very much fine where he is, hidden beneath the bush. He has no need whatsoever to go out in the open and make himself a target.

  


“Because Bucky is going to get himself killed trying to cuddle Hagrid’s dog– don’t get me wrong I love dogs, I just – this one’s a little too murderous for me, okay?”

  


“I know that, but why do I have to do anything about it?”

  


Peter stares at him. And then he shrugs.

  


“Okay. Fine. If you want to have dozens of people’s lives on your conscience, that’s on you.”

  


And then he runs away.

  


Away from the safety of the bush, away from Flash. Ducking and weaving through the crowds, towards his boyfriend.

  


Swearing, Flash jogs after him. He’s not in a hurry to get to his own death, okay, but something about what Peter said is gnawing at him. Having lives on his conscience isn’t something he wants. Obviously.

  


They’re at the edge of the park, and Flash can just make out Barnes as he runs into one of the taller buildings just outside of the park, probably to get closer to the, uh, heads of the dog. Just a few steps behind him is Peter.

  


Damn, Penis is fast. Crazy fast.

  


Flash’s sides are aching by the time he makes it to the building, just barely avoiding being stepped on by Hades’ precious pet.

  


What kind of death would that be anyway? **Splat** and then there were none, really. Disgusting.

  


The building Barnes has chosen does, annoyingly enough, not contain a working elevator, forcing Flash to sprint up all of the stairs,

  


Well, he imagines Barnes sprinted, maybe even Penis did. He, on the other hand, starts out sprinting. He sprints the first couple stories feeling invincible, panting and trudging his way up the next couple and finally crawling up the last few, totally out of breath.

  


If he survives this, he’s so gonna join a gym.

  


Collapsing at the top of the stairs, Flash gets a really good view of Peter frantically holding onto Barnes’ belt loops as half of the older man’s body hangs out an open window doing God knows what.

  


“Come on, puppy!” Flash can hear the desperation in Barnes’ voice. “Come on, let’s cuddle!

  


Peter, trying to haul his boyfriend back inside, is mumbling something about “-backpack stolen again, goddammit.”

  


It doesn’t make any sense and Flash is way too out of breath to focus on anything other than the sweet, slightly stale air that fills his lungs. Focusing on that, though, makes him nearly miss the way Captain America himself crashes through the windows on the other side of the office building they’re currently in, brushes pieces of glass of his uniform like it’s nothing and strides up to Peter and Barnes.

  


“Is he, uh, still influenced?” Captain America asks, taking in the way Peter’s fingers are looped through Barnes belt. He doesn’t actually seem surprised to see Peter there.

  


Peter squeaks. “Yea- yes sir, I think so.”

  


Captain America nods. “All right. Hey, Buck, we don’t have time to cuddle the big dog.”

  


Barnes sticks his left hand up in the air, giving Captain America the finger. Captain America sighs. “Cerberus needs to go home, Buck.”

  


“No!” Barnes shrieks, like he has the authority to decide weather Hades’ dog gets to go home or not.

  


Captain America sighs again. Flash suspects Captain America sighs a lot. It just seems like he does it effortlessly.

  


“But Cerberus doesn’t want to be here, Buck. He wants to go home to his family. To his family of dead, ancient Greek people. He doesn’t want to spend the day in Central Park. It’s too sunny for him.”

  


Barnes mutters something under his breath that Flash doesn’t pick up. It’s probably an insult.

  


“How, uh, sir. How are we supposed to get Cerberus home?” Peter cuts in, swearing as Barnes wiggles more of his body out the window.

  


“Doctor Strange has managed to open a portal near here, it’s really just the matter of getting Cerberus there. I’m thinking Natasha and Sam can handle that. You and I just need to distract Bucky.”

  


Peter has barely finished nodding at the Captain’s words before Barnes wiggles way too far and literally, as if in slow motion, falls out the window, bringing Peter with him.

  


Flash will deny the noise he makes until his dying day.

  


The Captain evidently manages to catch them, because he is hanging out the window, frantically telling Peter to “just hold on!”

  


Flash rushes forward, sticking his head out the broken window. There, beneath him, is Peter, one hand holding onto Captain America’s so hard it’s turning white and the other holding his boyfriend up by the belt loops.

  


Holy shit, Peter’s strong.

  


Who knew that strength was hiding beneath those baggy t-shirts the guy likes to wear? Not Flash, that’s for sure.

  


Meanwhile, Barnes seems to be coming down from his high. “What the fu.-” he manages, trying to twist in the air. A beat later, he let’s out a confused “Pete?”

  


“Hi Buck,” says Peter. “I’ll, uh, explain later.” And then he shuts his eyes and grimaces as Captain America puts his strength to use and begins hauling the combined weight of Peter Parker and the Winter Soldier inside.

  


*

  


Flash can’t help but wanting to join Barnes and Peter on the floor where they collapsed in a heap the second they got back through the window. It looks nice, despite the fact that the carpet beneath their feet is probably both dirty and full of broken glass.

  


Captain America has busied himself with talking nonsense on the comms with the Black Widow. Flash doesn’t actually listen to what he’s saying, just catching a flyaway “Cerberus this” and Cerberus that”. He’s much more interested in what’s happening at his feet.

  


Barnes and Peter are still laying on the floor, facing each other. Talking in quiet murmurs and gazing into each others eyes. That is, until Barnes sits up, looking almost shy. “Can I kiss you?” he asks and Flash isn’t sure he heard that right.

  


He definitely isn’t imagining the noise Peter makes though. Like air gets stuck in his throat. “Yeah. I mean I’d love- Yeah.”

  


Peter babbles a bit, making Barnes grin. “Well, come here, then,” the older man says, bringing Peter’s face close to his own.

  


Watching them kiss feels weird. It feels off in a way Flash can’t describe, so he shuffles his feet and clears his throat.

  


Watching them kiss also feels like an eternity. Once they finally break apart and stops gazing into each others eyes for a moment, Barnes turns towards his oldest friend.

  


“Oh come on, Steve” he says, one hand still cradling Peter’s cheek. “Chill out.”

  


  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you liked it!


End file.
